2024 was the year I thought was going to be it for me, and my marriage, so much had happened prior to 2024 that I felt I was just ready to give up, then she died. My whole world collapsed in front of me; I could no longer call and talk to her or tell her about the things going on. A few weeks later, after her service, a trip to Pennsylvania, watching them place her in the ground, I discovered a drug that made me happy, opened me up to things I never had thought of before, things that I learned could possibly fix my marriage as well. So not only could I feel numb and not feel these emotions that I did not want to feel, but I could also fix my terrible broken marriage. Yes! Sign me up. Every weekend, Friday and Saturday night, up all weekend no sleep, having a beautiful time with my husband. I had not felt so alive, so free of everything. Several months went by, my birthday passed, here comes his birthday. Let's do something else, he had been bugging me a while, no, no, no I knew, I just knew what would happen. Yes, it sure did, we did something else, yes hook, line and sinker. This was my downfall, I realized several months in, I was hooked. By the end of 2024, I realized what a mistake I had made. Behind on all my bills, no food, up for days on end, working 40 hours a week on barely any sleep. Then I went on lunch one day, laid down for 30 minutes, next thing I know its 4:30. Time to clock out. I messed up. I did this 17 years ago and knew what it was for me then. I swore I would never touch it again. But I did. I only had a few months with it, yet I will deal with the repercussions it caused for much longer. I should have died several times, I still could be looking at potential health problems, The Good Lord was with us both, knowing we would get to where we are today.
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